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Inappropriate Uses of Pens

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• Would you pay $50 for a special ink pen if it came with a free ticket to a sold-out college football game?

The Daily Reveille reports that’s the deal scalpers are offering at Louisiana State University, where students buy cheap tickets to the game and turn a profit on them outside the stadium.

Selling a ticket for more than face value is illegal in Lousiana, as in many other US states. Student reporter Chris Grillot found that scalpers – who get the tickets at discounted student prices – are trying to do an end run around the ticket law with the pen deal.

I came across numerous people asking for up to $50 outright for their tickets. But there were other kinds of offers. I found many proposing to sell me a sleek LSU ink pen or a rare pencil eraser for $50. They also came with a free football ticket.

But it’s just a ruse and not actually legal, Grillot discovered.

Unless it’s a really nice pen.

• The pen might not actually be mightier than a sword, but it apparently was dangerous enough to satisfy a mugger in North Carolina.

The man is accused of brandishing an ink pen and a set of keys as a weapon during a robbery. He threatened two women with his make-shift weapons and stole their purses, WRAL in Raleigh reported.

He had just gotten out of prison for a previous robbery, according to the TV station.

• A couple of Connecticut men ran into a little trouble with the law after they received a shipment of more than 1,000 Pilot G-1 pens from Peru.

Turns out, the pens were each loaded with about 2 grams of liquid cocaine, according to the New Haven Register.

Apparently, federal agents intercepted the package en route.

ICE agents, along with state police detectives, made a controlled delivery of the package. When it was accepted, the agents executed a search warrant at the home. They seized 2,016 grams of liquid cocaine in the pens, a 2004 Ford Expedition and $10,919, state police said.

The two men were arrested and held in jail, with bail set at US$2 million.

Wonder if the pens would still write?

• A man in Iowa was arrested when he decided to settle a domestic squabble with an ink pen.

From the Press-Citizen:

Police said when the woman tried to push away from Porter, he began to hit and kick her, causing a cut on her hand and bruise on her right side. Porter allegedly threw the woman to the ground and continued to kick her. He then grabbed and ink pen and attempted to stab her with it, police said.

The evidence that cinched the case for police? The woman had ink marks and on her hands and arms when they arrived.

The man was charged with domestic assault.


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